The Sanctimony of Marriage

So lost was I in the euphoria of the Obama election Tuesday, it wasn't until midday Wednesday that I realized that the California's Proposition 8 which sought to overturn the State's Supreme Court decision that protected marriage for Gays had passed. Worse, similar proposals banning Gay marriage passed in Florida and Arizona; and, astonishingly, Arkansas voters approved a measure outlawing Gays and Lesbians from adopting children. This, on the same day we finally broke the most significant color barrier is beyond irony. I guess if you're Gay, its more about being in the Home of the Brave than the Land of the Free.

As a single person for all but seven of my adult life, I admit I have a different view of the institution. I trust there are a lot of happy unions. My parents seemed to have a good thing going, and it pleases me to observe that both my daughters and three of my sibs appear to have found a degree of happiness and satisfaction with their respective mates. Truthfully though, there aren't too many couples I know that cause me to be envious of their gig. And yet… c'est la vie, let it be, live and let live, de gustibus non est disputandum (look it up), etc.

I try with every ounce of patience I can conjure up to try to understand what impact two people of the same sex marrying has on the marriage of two people of the opposite sex. The closest thing I can find is that it somehow contradicts the Bible or some other religious teaching. Okay. But we live under a constitution that separates Church and State, not to mention that the California constitution guarantees equal protection for all its citizens.

I understand how one can be uncomfortable with same sex orientation just as I can understand how we can draw back around anyone with whom we are not familiar. Such is the basic argument for expanding our thinking and seeking understanding. Arbitrary prohibitions and interdictions based on gender, race, national origin, orientation, physical ability are just plain bigoted. Recognizing it's an argument others have made with much more eloquence, what causes such an uproar when Jack and Joe want to form a union but it's just good beauty salon reading when Brad leaves Jennifer for Angelina? If marriage is so dang sacred, why allow divorce at all? And please tell the adopted children of every Gay couple you know that their mommies or daddies are not worthy of them. Especially considering all the extra married people standing in line ready to take over.

It's time to put an end to the double standards on this issue. Just as we have come to regret rounding up Japanese-Americans during WWII based on their nationality or pat ourselves on the back for electing a Black President, we will eventually recognize that our Gay and Lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to be full citizens as well. Policies and laws like "Don’t Ask Don't Tell" or Civil Union in lieu of marriage are the 3/5ths rules of our era. (Aside… imagine what the 70s anti-war draft dodgers could have done with DADT…kind of fun).

How about we decouple religion from the issue altogether and everyone can have a Civil Union under the law? Any couples who want to would be free to "bless" the union within their church, synagogue, mosque or whatever… bring on the parties.

Better yet, what say we treat all adults (even those of us who remain single) equally and end the special preference altogether. Now we're talking.